I hate pregnancy. I really do. I like children and babies but I don’t like the idea of being pregnant. The whole body change and I really hate it. I will write things down so I will always remember how much I hate prenancy and never do it in the future.
Pregnancy is a nightmare, it is.
First, I become easily-tired. I can’t believe I can’t stand standing and taking a cardio. I understand that it has been quite long since I skip my routine exercise: cardio and strengh training. I gained weight. But not this much. Most of fat distributed in my belly and buttock. I hate that. I feel tender breast and it makes my routine exercise even harder.
I love my job but now I am easily tired and cannot stand standing in a long period of time. Pregnancy really limited my mobility. It prevent me to enjoy things that I love. I hate my self even more and I feel I wanna end my life.
If it’s not because the job that I really love, I probably try to kill myself now
I hate the growing fetus inside my body, I hate my body changing, I hate that it takes more than a week to get an abortion termin in a country like Germany. I hate that I have to go trough a consultation even though I am 100% sure I want to cancel this pregnancy.
I want my life back. I am already suffered for couple weeks because my body changing. I don’t want my uterus, just take it off. I don’t want a womb. I don’t want a life. I can’t appreciate when my friends said that pregnancy is a magical journey. It is a hell. A living hell.
I wake up every morning with a feeling that I hate my self. I hate being a women and why enjoying sex with my husband could lead to this suffers.
I don’t wanna keep the pregnancy just because of make people surrounds me happy. I had enough living for others. I had enough listening to my mother so I became a perfect daughter. I never asked to be born and I don’t to give a birth just so another human being could suffer. Having a child is an ethical act because one should consider because the earth is rotten and capitalism made us suffer.
If I didn’t get the abortion pills in the next two weeks, I am pretty sure I would rather suicide.
