The Empath

I just got a visit from a friend of mine, he just got out from hospital since he feels depressed lately. He still wonder and listing what caused his stress and trauma, and I bet he’ll figure it out. He is a smart man. But with him, that was the first time I coming out to him as an empath. I absorb energy from others, I like to hear story of a people and sensing their emotion. However, some people hide or repress emotion. Some people do not know how to express emotion and these kind of people usually accidentally transfer their emotion to mine. I’ll be expressing emotion that they have been denying or repressed.

Both of my therapist agree that I have been absorbing people’s emotion, my mother said I was born with the ability of sensing everything, sadness, problems, happiness. My partner said my nose is so sharp, I even give names for specific fragrance and smell from things. Children and stranger were nice to me cause I am bouncing their intention. Back in Indonesia, random toddler sometimes approach me or stranger helps me cause I can be trusted. My mother once suggest me to be a psychologist cause I can sense people and I like to hear other people stories.

I would said this is kind of super power but if I cannot manage it well, it will consumed me. I remember a day when I hear that one student in my school died due to the motorcycle accident, my one friend, a male who witness the accident, I know he was shocked but he cannot shed a tears. He wasn’t numb or anything but he looked me in the eye. He said he saw her before the crash, then I started crying. I didn’t even know her and almost never talk to her but people transfer their emotion to me. I have a trouble with people who cannot express their emotion. Cause my stupid empath will absorb it automatically, especially with those people I know.

Like everything I learn from Disney Princess movie, I try to control my power. The first one is setting up boundaries and understand when to say: No. Lately, I cut my friendship little by little, and I am no longer helping people who is confused with her own life because they cannot sensing their emotion. I make my peer little as possible with those person who mature enough and understand conflict management or at least, get their own shit done. I do not need so many conenction with people especialy who will caused me trouble. In the other hand, I’ll do anything to people whom I really care. My old friends, my partner, my besties, my nieces and nephews, I will give them everything including one of my kidney if they need. But yea, it is important to set boundaries when you just cannot take things more.

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