I have been crying for whole week as I found out that I am pregnant. I don’t want this and I feel the whole world crumbles around me. I barely concentrate, my feet hurts, my body hurts, I feel breast tenderness, super lazy and tired all the time. I really…

I hate pregnancy. I really do. I like children and babies but I don’t like the idea of being pregnant. The whole body change and I really hate it. …

Parasit itu bersemayam di tubuhku. Aku mengetahuinya dua minggu yang lalu. Awalnya aku merasa senang bahwa tubuhku ternyata bisa seperti standar perempuan normal pada umumnya, lalu aku membayangkan betapa bahagianya orang-orang di sekelilingku apabila mereka dengar kabar tentang perkembangan tubuhku sepulang dari Indonesia. Hari berikutnya rasa senang itu mulai memudar…

Recently I embrace a hobby that I really wanna tried since I was kid. Being a model. I was growing up with people surrounds me telling me that I was born with pretty face. …

Late 20 is confusing. It is the stage when you are trying to figure out of how being an adult is. A functional one. My friends have an age range between 25 to 35 right now. And it seems some of them had been trough the mature-ing stage and some…

Recently I made a friends with Phd students in Natural science department. this is quite a new experience for me to be honest because somehow I always surrounded by people from social science, humaniora or law. Activist, peacemakers, human rights defender you name it but this time I hang out…

Gw udah lama pengen nulis ini tapi entah kenapa kesibukan dan menari mood buat nulis diary macam ini jadi tertunda dan males-malesan aja. Hari ini gw ada waktu luang dari jam 13 sampai pukul 16.30 lumayan lah untuk kontemplasi diri dan memikirkan hidup gw selama ini. Beberapa hari ini gw…

There were some days where you just don’t know how to react, how to say, how to feel. You know your bidy signaling pain, or hunger but it feels repetitive. With everything that you done everyday: cleaning, cooking, reading, working. You don’t feel. As I walk and look at the people and I wish I could read their emotions. But not too close cause I will drown. The doctor appoitments, groceries shopping.

Formidable, formidable Tu étais formidable, j’étais fort minable Nous étions formidables — Stromae Sometimes I wonder if I sabotage my personal relationship because I think I don’t need it. Another time I though that I am craving of the feeling, rather the person. Since I was 20 year old, I…